


Drop a Heart

by PiningTsukkiEnthusiast



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Humor, But no sexual content, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, First Meetings, Kinda?, M/M, Manga Spoilers (from about 364 onwards), Nonbinary Tsukishima Kei, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Hoshiumi Kourai, Pining Tsukishima Kei, Pro Volleyball Player Hoshiumi Kourai, Pro Volleyball Player Tsukishima Kei, Rare Pairings, Sexual Humor, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Unrequited Love, so rare that i think i'm the first in this tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast/pseuds/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast
Summary: “I was thinkin’ like, even if they don’t like us the way we like ‘em, we’re still pretty hot.”“Okay…?”“So, even if it was just a few moments of showin’ ‘em what we missed, if we were to be in a relationship with not them, they might feel a little bit like they were missin’ out?”Kei’s brows draw together. “I don’t think I follow.”“We’d just– just like, a few friend outings. ‘n on our private socials. Just like, pretend to date. For a little while. Even if all it does is throw ‘em off our scent while we commiserate ‘n mourn the fact that they’re probably gonna get married.”Kei blinks. “Excuse me.”Or, Hoshiumi and Tsukishima pretend to date.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hoshiumi Kourai/Tsukishima Kei, Minor or Background Relationship(s), One-Sided Hinata Shouyou/Hoshiumi Kourai, One-sided Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 27
Kudos: 58





	1. The Mess That We'll Become

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on the idea of this fic since MARCH I can't even begin to tell you!! I'm so excited to share it with all of you, especially for my 80th fic on here. I just!!! I'm really excited! So, yeah, this is the first fic in this tag I think? A little wild because I personally think they've got great chemistry, but! I am glad to break in the ship. I fell in love with their dynamic through an RP server I'm in, and now it is time to share that love with all of you!
> 
> And yes, the fic title is from _Sugar, We're Goin Down_ and the chapter is from _Casual Affair_. Maybe I have a HoshiTsukki Playlist. And what about it?

Karasuno loses to Kamomedai, after Hinata’s fever and Kei’s leg cramp.

It feels like shit, and Kei hates how shitty it feels. Hates that they let themself _care_. But it also feels good, to have made it this far, because in the next two years, Kei knows that Karasuno will get further.

That doesn’t make them feel less like shit in the here and now, though.

“Oi, Megane-kun.”

Kei pulls a face at the nickname, despite being borderline used to it; so many people from other schools call them that at this point. As long as they keep their hands off of _Tsukki_ , Kei really couldn’t give less of a flying fuck what they called them.

They turn, eyes widening only a fraction, barely betraying their surprise.

“Oh. It’s you.” Kei turns back around, sinking down on the bench where they sit. “Come to gloat?”

Hoshiumi Kourai huffs, loud and indignant, and stomps around to stand in front of Kei. “Oi, oi, whaddya take me for! I came to tell ya that next time, ya won’t be scoring any block points off me! So, just you watch out, Megane!”

“I have a _name_ ,” they mumble, refusing to look up.

“How’s yer leg?”

“It was just a stupid cramp.”

Hoshiumi hums. “That sucks even worse, that it was just something small.”

“What do you want from me?” Kei finally looks at him, a cold glint in their eyes. “Seriously, what the hell are you doing here? Because Hinata isn’t here, so–”

“Hinata Shouyou wasn’t the only player on the court today, Tsukishima-kun,” Hoshiumi scolds, hands on his hips and scowl on his face. “Forget that I even said anything. I’ll see ya next year, ya tall asshole.”

Hoshiumi walks away, and Kei has no clue what the fuck just happened.

“I’m not going.”

“You’re going, Tsukki–”

“I’m not going.”

Yamaguchi huffs and swats Kei’s book out of their hands like a cat.

“It’s Hinata’s and Kageyama’s first match against each other since _junior high_! You’re going! They’re our best friends.”

“No, they’re _your_ best friends. My only best friends are you and Yachi-san.”

“No one has heard from Yacchan in like a year.”

“I know, we’re close enough that distance and time doesn’t affect us,” Kei deadpans.

“You’re full of shit, we’ve _got_ to go!”

“You can go without me.”

“You’ll get to watch one of them lose!” Yamaguchi says it so fast, his words run together a little.

 _Damn._ That does appeal to Kei, which is probably bad. But they have a whole other reason to avoid this match, alright? It’s not really about their shitty personality (though that is, admittedly, a contributing factor).

“Come on. Out with it, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says, sitting on the table in front of them. “Why don’t you want to go, really?”

Kei groans and faceplants onto Yamaguchi’s knees. “Don’t make me _talk_ about it.”

“You _have_ to talk about it,” Yamaguchi replies, mimicking Kei’s whiny tone. “Because I’m dragging you to the match, one way or another.”

Kei groans again. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Come on, Tsukki.” He ruffles Kei’s hair. “Talk to me. What is it?”

“After the match, we’re all gonna go out for drinks,” Kei whines. “And then the morons are going to compete for who can say it faster, but it doesn’t fucking matter, because one of them will confess.”

“And you’re still hung up on Kageyama,” Yamaguchi concludes, sighing. “I’m sorry, Tsukki. But think, this is going to help you get over him. And you don’t _know_ that they’re getting–”

“Kageyama told me that he’s confessing after the game,” Kei says miserably.

Yamaguchi sighs, hand running through Kei’s hair. “You still have to go.”

Kei’s misery melts from their features, and they look up at Yamaguchi. “Dammit.”

“Can’t try and use feelings to get by me; I know you too well.”

The bar that Bokuto leads them to is practically empty; a good, private place for popular volleyball players to sneak away to drink with their rivals after a game.

Kei hangs back in the corner, next to Sakusa Kiyoomi, and wonders why the fuck Sakusa even came. The man hates germs, people, and crowds. What gives?

Bokuto has his arm slung around Ushijima’s shoulders, talking loud and happy, as you’d expect. Slowly, more and more people filter in, but it’s only people that they know from high school. No one who’ll want to expose what’s sure to happen tonight.

Miya Atsumu and Kageyama are talking about something, and Atsumu pats Kageyama’s back with just a little more force than appropriate for something friendly.

_Ah, rivals._

Kageyama must sense that Kei is looking at him though, and he turns to face them. His eyes brighten, and it goes straight through Kei’s heart like a cruel joke.

They’re not exactly _friends_ since high school, but they’re not, not, friends. Sometimes, Kageyama comes over to talk, and they drink kahlúa and milk while bantering and catching up. And sometimes Kageyama falls asleep on Kei’s couch.

That was how Kei found out that Kageyama’s confessing today at all; a tipsy reveal that Kageyama probably doesn’t even remember telling them.

Kageyama makes his way over, nods in lieu of greeting.

“Tsukishima.”

“Yeah?”

Kageyama bumps their shoulders together, hands Kei a glass of something. Kahlúa, if he knows what’s good for him.

Kei takes a sip. It’s kahlúa. Good.

“Enjoy the game?”

“It was fine.”

“I’m surprised you came. Did Yamaguchi have to drag you?” he asks, sipping whatever’s in his own glass. Kei’s guessing whiskey. Liquid courage, and all that.

“Does it really matter?”

Kageyama snorts. “No. No matter how you act, I know that Yamaguchi can’t make you do anything that you don’t want to.”

“Whatever.”

“Thanks, for being there.” It’s so stupidly sincere. Kei hates it.

“Whatever.”

“I’m serious.” Kageyama bumps their shoulders together again. “Come on. Just because there’s people around, we can’t be friendly? You never have a problem being nice when we’re alone.”

“I have a reputation, your highness.” Bullshit, and Kei almost cringes at the sound of their own voice.

Kageyama just snorts, genuinely humored. _Disgusting_. “Okay, sure you do.” He takes another long drink from his glass. “But that was promising, hearing you call me _your highness_. Means you’re still in there.”

“Fuck off.”

Kageyama smirks. “Alright. Talk to you later, then, Tsukishima.”

He saunters off, and is replaced with Yamaguchi and Yachi. Both a welcome change and a frustrating one, because Kei knows that they both _know_ what’s going through their mind right now.

But then, Yachi understands, Kei realizes, seeing the way she avoids looking at Tanaka’s hand in Kiyoko’s.

_Right._

High school crushes die hard, or whatever.

They set the glass of kahlúa down. Right now, they don’t feel like drinking. Maybe it’s because this whole situation makes them feel sick to their stomach. The crowd, the unrequited love, all of that.

Kei doesn’t pay attention, really. They drink some water and continue to hang back. Yamaguchi and Sakusa speak to one another with surprising ease– but then, Yamaguchi has plenty of practice with socially awkward, sarcastic nerds. Yachi finishes whatever was in her glass and announces that she’s catching a cab back. Kei and Yamaguchi wave her off.

The night gets late, as the idiot duo start shouting at each other about something or other but the chatter in the bar is just loud enough that Kei doesn’t have to _hear_.

But they can’t miss it, not when the room quiets down in time for Kageyama to declare, “ _I’m in love with you!”_

Kei’s heart drops to the floor, but their facial expression remains neutral. A fond yet irritated eyeroll, for show. As soon as Hinata tells Kageyama he wants a kiss, though, Kei is out of there.

They lean back against the building, breathing heavy but refusing to cry over something so fucking stupid. It was a high school crush. It’s barely a feeling anymore, isn’t it? So what! So what, if Kei and Kageyama have hung out once a week every week that they could since high school while Hinata was in fucking _Brazil_ and so what! So what if Kei liked when they’d stay at Kageyama’s just a little too late and Kei would fall asleep on his shoulder.

It doesn’t mean that it was ever more than a stupid high school crush.

_Fuck._

They are crying, after all.

The door to the bar opens and shuts, and when Kei sees a shadow on the pavement, they tense up. They’re expecting to have to tell Yamaguchi to get lost, they’re fine. But it’s not their best friend who speaks.

“Oi, Megane-kun.”

Kei looks up, surprised to see it was Hoshiumi Kourai instead who followed them out.

“Oh, it’s you.”

Hoshiumi laughs, loud and brash, but Kei doesn’t tell him to shut up. It’s better than the silence as they wallow in self-pity, they suppose.

“This is some kinda déjà vu, huh, Megane-kun,” Hoshiumi says. His eyes are shiny, but not from laughter. “D’ya wanna get outta here?”

Kei wipes a tear away pathetically and shrugs. “Whatever.”

Hoshiumi must understand that’s a yes. He nods his head towards the street, and then starts walking. Kei doesn’t know where he’s taking them, but they suppose it doesn’t matter. They just want to get out of here.

“What’s yer poison?” Hoshiumi asks as he turns his keys in the lock, pushes the door open. “I got beers, a few sweet wines and a few semi-dry ones, got some sake and some bourbon, a little rum, some vodka, some kahlúa–”

“Kahlúa,” Kei interrupts. “Why do you have so much booze?”

“Because the team crashes here sometimes and we drink, but for some reason, no one likes the same things! Always got kahlúa on hand for Tobio-kun, ‘n the sake and beers are for pretty much everyone, then the wines are for Romero but he also likes vodka and rum, Fukuro likes bourbon…”

“Got it.” Kei isn’t really interested in hearing every single member of the Schweiden Adlers’ drink orders, especially not if it’s going to lead to a conversation about Kageyama. They want to think about anything _but_ Kageyama, though they suppose going home with his teammate wasn’t their brightest move.

Hoshiumi huffs at being interrupted again, tossing his keys in the bowl and toeing off his shoes. “Yeah, alright. Didja have anything to drink at the bar?”

“Water,” because they only got one sip of kahlúa, and Kei doesn’t drink beer. They toe of their shoes as well and murmur a, “ _Pardon the intrusion._ ”

Hoshiumi turns around and gapes at them. “Ya mean to tell me that yer stone-cold sober right now?”

“Yep.”

“And ya agreed to come home with me?”

“Yep.”

“Not even knowin’ if I had yer choice of alcohol?”

Kei gives him a flat look. “I’m sorry, would you like me to leave or something? Because it’s not as if I’m particularly committed to my decision to be here right now. Anywhere was better than _there_.”

“No, no,” Hoshiumi says in a rush, waving his hands. “’s fine, I’m not tellin’ ya to get lost or anythin’. I’m just surprised ‘s all, ’cause it ain’t like we know each other outside of havin’ some mutual friends.”

“Wow, did our brief, passive-aggressive encounter in high school mean nothing to you,” Kei deadpans, tossing their hair out of their eyes. “Look, I didn’t want to stick around to watch the wonder twins get all mushy now that they’re reunited, and I’m assuming neither did you. So, I’m here. And frankly, I don’t even know _why_ , because you haven’t told me why you invited me.”

Hoshiumi’s whole face goes red, like he was hoping that Kei wouldn’t ask about that. He turns around and starts walking to another room. Naturally, Kei follows.

“Don’tcha even know what it usually means when someone says, _ya wanna get out of here_? Megane-kun, don’t tell me you ain’t ever heard that before.”

Kei’s brows pull together. They _do_ , but they didn’t think that was even on Hoshiumi’s mind. It’s certainly not something they’ve ever been asked directly– not in that actual context.

“You didn’t honestly think that I was going to _sleep with you_ , did you?” they ask, not bothering to beat around the bush.

Hoshiumi goes even redder, flinging open a cabinet and riffling through bottles of liquor. “’Course not! But to be fair, I also didn’t think you’d actually come home with me, or that you’d be so damn sober when ya did!”

Kei is equal parts confused and humored. They’ve never so much as kissed someone, let alone have sex, and they don’t plan to do so in the present moment with a guy they hardly know. But it’s a bit flattering and definitely hilarious that _the_ Hoshiumi Kourai found them attractive enough to ask them back to his place and proceed to be surprised that they would agree, even sober.

“Wipe that damn smirk off yer face; I swear, yer worse than Sachirou,” Hoshiumi huffs, finally finding the kahlúa bottle and pulling it down. “’n for yer information, ‘s not like I was gonna try ‘n seduce you! I’m perfectly content just havin’ someone to hang out with while I process what just happened, alright!”

Kei raises their hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Apologies for assuming you were trying to get in my pants, or for _not_ assuming it earlier?” They do not wipe the smirk off their face.

Hoshiumi slams a couple of glasses on the counter and fills them with the kahlúa, and then he slides one over to Kei.

“So, how come ya were crying outside of a bar after Tobio-kun told Shouyou that he’s in love with him?”

Ah. So they’re getting right into that then. Great.

“I wasn’t crying. I had something in my eye.” Kei sips the kahlúa, their expression carefully neutral.

“Cut the shit, Megane-kun; you looked like someone stole the last piece of cake and then told ya there’s no such thing as Santa Claus.” Hoshiumi leans forward on the counter, eyeing Kei thoughtfully. “I only ask, ’cause I know that I got outta there to avoid thinkin’ about how Shouyou chose Tobio-kun ‘n it’s always gonna be Tobio-kun ‘n the rest of us were just stupid for hopin’ we stood a chance.”

Kei huffs, continues drinking. They really don’t want to get into this right now.

“Megane-kun, ya might as well talk to me about it. I’m one of the people who gets it, ’cause I feel the same shit.”

“No, you don’t.” They set their glass down, frowning at the counter. “You’re in love with _Hinata_? Good for you. So are most of the people we played with in high school.”

“Right, ‘n that’s my point–”

“No,” Kei says, firmer this time. “I’m not in love with that stupid little shrimp.”

Hoshiumi opens his mouth, probably to defend Hinata’s honor, just for it to snap closed. He’s processing, the information is bouncing around in his brain, and then, his eyes widen.

“Yer in love with Tobio-kun, ain’t ya?”

Kei clicks their tongue and picks their glass back up. “Love is a strong word.”

“Yeah. I just silently cry ‘bout unrequited feelings all the dang time when it’s nothin’ serious.”

“Fuck off,” Kei snaps. “Honestly, who do you think you _are_? You invite me here to get away from it and now you’re trying to make me talk about it like you’re some sort of therapist?”

“I’m someone who wants to be yer friend, ya massive dick,” Hoshiumi says, setting his glass down and crossing his arms. “Which I wanted to be in _high school_ , ’cause ya were real good at keepin’ up with me and tossin’ banter back and forth. But yer too much of a cynical asshole to think anyone actually wants to be yer friend other than Float Serve-kun and it makes ya damn insufferable to try ‘n talk to!”

Kei glowers at him. “If I’m so insufferable, why did you invite me here?”

“ _Because I still want to be yer friend!_ ”

They look away from him. This whole situation is stupid and confusing.

“Thought you were trying to get laid.”

“It woulda been nice,” Hoshiumi admits, “but mostly I needed someone who got it. Not someone who’d tell me maybe there was a chance, or I’ll get over it, or it’ll hurt less with time. Just someone who knows that it fucking sucks right now and there’s nothing to be done about it.”

“Yeah, well.” Kei picks up their glass and downs the rest of the kahlúa. “I’m not going to sit around and share sappy sob stories with you. We’re going to drink in silence, unless you want to talk about volleyball, and even then, think if it’s something I _really_ care about hearing.”

“Trick question, ya don’t care about hearin’ anything, Megane-kun.”

“Do _not_ call me that.”

Two hours and three bottles of kahlúa later find Hoshiumi and Kei in the living room. Hoshiumi is laying on the couch while Kei sits on the floor. Their feet are under the kotatsu and their head is leaning back against the couch. Hoshiumi plays with their hair, twirling the curls around.

“He’s just so– stupidly pretty,” Kei whines, tilting their head back to look at Hoshiumi. “You don’t get it Hoshiumi-san. You’re in love with Hinata just like fuck all everyone else. But Kageyams’ so…”

“I know, Megane-kun,” Hoshiumi slurs, “I totally getcha. ‘s so _miserable_ when you just wanna hold his hand ‘n be like, _hey yer super fuckin’ cute and I’m in love with ya,_ but instead they went off ‘n were in love with each other. Fuck that!”

“I couldn’t _stand_ watching him serve today… How do you stand on his side of the court, ev’ry single _day_ , Hosh’umi-san? He’s like… some kind of ether…ethere…” Kei’s face screws up as they try to place the word. “He’s fucking _hot_.”

“I know, Megane-kun, I know.” Hoshiumi lightly scratches his fingers across Kei’s scalp, and they sigh contentedly, leaning into him more.

“We drink together almost every week ‘n I dunno why I’m so shocked… I knew he was gonna confess but I still… I still hoped.”

“I forgot to get Shouyou’s number in high school ‘n then he went off to Brazil… ‘m so pathetic for still bein’ so damn whipped.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Kei slurs in earnest. “You’re just like the rest of us dopes who fell in love in high school ‘n then never got the fuck over it.”

“This is so _lame_ ,” Hoshiumi whines, readjusting to hang off the couch some, arm thrown over Kei’s shoulder. “Wish they could feel so… like this, like we do…”

“No you _don’t_ ,” Kei groans, “’cause you’re all stupid and in love and wouldn’t wish misery on them.”

“I hate it when yer right, Megane-kun.” He sighs and leans over more before toppling out of the couch and onto Kei’s lap. “Whoops.”

Kei laughs, and they’re not even totally sure _why_ they’re laughing. But this is, for some reason, hilarious for them. Their laughter breaks into a yawn.

“Hey, ‘m I– ‘m I sleeping here, Hoshiumi-san?” they ask, poking his cheek.

Hoshiumi blinks up at them a few times. “Sure as hell ain’t lettin’ ya go home drunker than a sailor, so yeah, yer stayin’ over.”

Kei hums, satisfied with that answer, and pulls the blanket of the kotatsu over themself and Hoshiumi. “Okay.”

“We’re not sleepin’ under the kotatsu though, Megane, sorry to disappoint.”

Kei groans. “Fine.”

“Yer gonna sleep in bed like a proper grown up ‘n ya can borrow some shit to sleep in. Yer tall but yer still skinny, so ya should fit in my clothes, I think.” Hoshiumi gets up and offers his hand to help Kei stand.

Kei takes it and wobbles a bit. They’re not used to getting _this_ drunk, ever. But the silence of the evening – and there was a lot of it – was filled with more drinking. And now they can’t walk straight. Well, they can’t do anything straight, really, but that’s more of a _being gay_ thing.

“Do you think– d’ya think we could make ‘em feel even a little jealous?” Hoshiumi muses, wrapping an arm around Kei to lead them to his room.

“No… They’re in love with each other… wouldn’ spare us a second glance.”

Hoshiumi hums. “But what if we _could_? Or even jus’… have somethin’ goin’ on to throw ‘em off our scent?”

Kei frowns as they process. They’ve got no fucking clue what he means, but they’re too intoxicated to really know what _anything_ means.

“How’re you gonna do that?”

“I mean… even if they ain’t crushin’ on us, we’re still a couple o’ fine lookin’ guys–”

“’m not a guy,” Kei mumbles, too far gone to think about the fact they just _came out_.

“Eh?”

“Nonbinary.” They point to themself with the hand not on Hoshiumi for support.

“A’right, well we’re a couple o’ fine lookin’ people,” Hoshiumi amends, “so even if it’s just a second, they’re bound to feel a little disappointed to see us off the market, don’tcha think?”

Kei shrugs, still processing what _words_ mean.

“Oh my god.” Hoshiumi stops and looks up at them, eyes comically wide. “I’ve been callin’ ya Megane _-kun_ , but yer nonbinary! Should I call ya somethin’ else!?”

“My name would suffice,” Kei slurs with an eyeroll.

“Oi, oi, now that’s no way to address yer upperclassman and the man who’s gonna save yer hide from yer big gay crush bein’ discovered,” Hoshiumi says, though he starts giggling halfway through for unknown reasons. “So, you just listen here, _goldilocks_ –”

“Goldilocks?”

“’s what I said, blondie! Keep up!”

Kei rolls their eyes again, but so much eyerolling while drunk is starting to make them a little dizzy, and they stumble.

“You ‘n me, we’re gonna pretend to date!” and Hoshiumi says it like it’s the most ingenious plan of the century.

Kei gasps, drunk enough to believe it is. “Holy shit. Maybe you’re not so stup’d after all, Hoshiumi-san. I’m almost imp– impre’d…? ‘s a good idea.”

“Everyone thinks I’m dumb,” Hoshiumi sighs, pulling Kei into the bedroom. “It’s ‘cause I’m so _pretty_.”

“I don’ think you’re dumb,” Kei assures him. “No more ‘n I think _everyone’s_ dumb.”

Hoshiumi’s eyes start watering, and he looks at Kei with the most ridiculous grin. “I think that’s the nicest thing ya ever said to anyone other ‘n yer cutie pie freckled friend, goldilocks. Lemme getcha somethin’ to wear to bed.”

Kei wakes up in an unfamiliar bed with an unfamiliar warm body wrapped around them like a squid.

They frown, but they’re exhausted and hungover, so they don’t try to move. Instead, they take stock of their current position and attempt to deduce what happened.

 _I’m wearing a shirt… but it’s not mine,_ they note, peaking an eye open. _I’m wearing underwear, but no pants. Last night, I went home with… Hoshiumi-san._

Kei opens their eyes again to look at the head nestled on their chest. _White hair… oh my god. I’m in bed with Hoshiumi Kourai. And he’s not wearing a shirt. And he’s clinging to me. Oh my god._

To their credit, Kei manages to stay still, even as they begin to panic. Before last night, Kei had never so much as kissed someone on the _cheek_ , much less– well, _you know_! And they find Hoshiumi _attractive_ , obviously. But they certainly wouldn’t want to just– just hook up with him! Especially not when they’re still all messed up about Kageyama!

Hoshiumi moves around a bit, and Kei holds their breath. They’ve got no clue what they’re even supposed to _say_ to him right now; they’re still processing all of this information. He grunts and tightens his arm around Kei before his face scrunches up. He’s probably confused too.

(Kei hates to admit it, but it’s really cute.)

“Who’re you ‘n why’re ya in my bed?” he mumbles, practically still asleep.

“Tsukishima Kei,” Kei croaks out, “and I can’t answer the second one because I don’t remember.”

Hoshiumi’s eyes fly open and he pulls away from Kei at record speed. Kei wouldn’t say they’re _offended_ , per se, but come on! There are way uglier people to wake up in bed with. Seriously, Kei was one of the most attractive people at the after-party yesterday. Hoshiumi should be so graced with their presence.

“Kahlúa,” Hoshiumi groans, throwing an arm across his face. “I remember a lot of kahlúa.”

“Did we–?” Kei looks at him, feeling like they’re on fire. “Did we _sleep together_?”

Hoshiumi takes his arm off his face and looks at them. “Uh…” He tugs their shirt collar down and they yelp, but he’s looking and they just sort of. Let him. “No. I’m a biter. And a top. You’d still be feeling it if we fucked last night.”

Hoshiumi releases the shirt, and Kei lets out a sharp breath of relief.

“Oi, oi,” Hoshiumi says with a frown. “This surely isn’t the _worst_ hypothetical hookup you could’ve had!”

“Uh, it’s hypothetically the _only_ hookup I would’ve had, actually,” Kei deadpans. “So, forgive me for being relieved.”

Hoshiumi’s eyes widen. “You mean to tell me that Tsukishima Kei is a blushing virgin!?”

“The secret’s out,” Kei snorts. “I’ve never kissed anyone either.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know. Side effect of unrequited crush since high school on someone I see regularly: I haven’t had a chance to really think about anyone else like that.”

“I could’ve been _Tsukishima Kei’s_ first kiss, and first– wow.” Hoshiumi breathes a small laugh. “Lucky hypothetical me, huh, Megane-kun?”

Kei snorts. “Yeah. Lucky hypothetical you.”

They lay quietly for a moment, and then Hoshiumi turns on his side to look at them. “Hey.”

“What.”

“I think I tried to ask yesterday, but I was stupid drunk, so it came out wrong.”

“Oh…?”

“Do ya mind the _-kun_ suffix? ‘Cause some nonbinary people I know don’t like the suffixes associated with their assigned gender, while others don’t really care?”

“I don’t really care,” Kei says. “The only thing that I ask is that you use _they/them_ instead of masculine pronouns.”

Hoshiumi hums. “Okay. I can do that.”

“I think you switched from _Megane-kun_ to _goldilocks_ though,” Kei remembers, turning their head to him. “You’re awful at giving nicknames, and you clearly know my real name.”

“Aww, but _goldilocks_ , nicknames are terms of endearment! You should feel so honored!”

Kei grabs the pillow from under their head to smack Hoshiumi in the face with it. “Shut up.”

“Ya come into my home, and ya _attack me_? What a terrible houseguest, goldilocks, didn’t yer mother teach ya any manners?”

“My mother is how I got my incredibly _charming_ personality, actually,” Kei says. They laugh, and then they groan, because, _ow_ , hangover.

“I’ll getcha some water,” Hoshiumi says. He scrubs a hand over his face and stands up, in all his shirtless glory.

Honestly, as someone who’s on a volleyball team with plenty of attractive and buff men, Kei is embarrassed at how quickly they avert their eyes. But they can’t help it! This is totally different from locker room context. Kei just _slept_ in Hoshiumi’s _bed_.

They sit up when Hoshiumi leaves the room and fumble for their glasses, probably on the nightstand. _Ah. Found them_. Kei puts the glasses on, which only minorly helps their hangover headache. They stretch, their entire body feeling tighter than if they’d lifted weights with Kyoutani the previous day.

_Who knew drinking so much would have such consequences?_

It’s only mildly horrifying, the way that Kei remembers bits and pieces of whining about their years-long unrequited crush on Kageyama. But when Hoshiumi found them crying outside of the bar, he probably already knew that Kei had feelings for one of the idiots. Better he knew _which_ idiot.

Hoshiumi returns about five minutes later, holding a small tray containing two glasses of water, two mugs of what smells like coffee, and a plate with a few pieces of toast.

“Ya can use my shower after ya get some water, caffeine, and carbs in yer system,” Hoshiumi tells them. He sets the tray down on the bed and sits across from them, on the other side of it.

“Breakfast in bed, how romantic,” Kei snorts. “I can imagine how much better I would have gotten than just _toast_ , if we’d actually hooked up.”

“Yer so right,” Hoshiumi laughs. “I woulda brought out the good cereal, just for you.” He winks, and Kei rolls their eyes.

“Can’t cook, Hoshiumi-san?”

“Not for the life of me, nope!”

“How did you even make it this long living on your own if you can’t cook? Surely you don’t live on takeout– you’re an athlete.”

“There’s plenty of healthy foods that don’t require a stove, goldilocks.” Hoshiumi picks up a mug of coffee and sips it. “Drink yer water, or yer gonna feel like a goddamn zombie all day.”

“Lots of experience with hangovers, hm, Hoshiumi-san?” Kei snorts, but they pick up the glass of water anyways, because they don’t want to feel like shit for the whole day.

“No, ’cause I stay _hydrated_ ,” he laughs, drinking more of the coffee. “Eat the toast too. Carbs will absorb whatever’s left of the alcohol in yer system.”

“Stop acting like a parent, I know how to take care of myself.” Kei sips on the water. “Anyways, sorry for taking up half of your bed last night.”

“And my shirt,” Hoshiumi adds, but he’s smiling, unbothered. “It’s no problem. Ya can use my shower if ya need.”

“You already said that.”

“Right, yeah.” The smile slips, and Hoshiumi looks down, fidgeting. “Hey, do ya remember anything we talked about last night?”

“Other than angsting over our unrequited crushes on the idiot duo who are now happily in stupidity together?”

“Yeah… we were talkin’ about a little more ‘n just that, I’m afraid.”

Kei raises an eyebrow, curious. They switch their water glass for a mug of coffee; they’ve got a feeling that they might need caffeine for this particular conversation.

“Alright… then, what did we talk about?”

“We– it’s really stupid, so it’s okay if ya laugh or just wanna pretend we never even mentioned it,” Hoshiumi starts, giving a sheepish look up at Kei.

That doesn’t make Kei feel better about it.

“I was thinkin’ like, even if they don’t _like us_ the way we like ‘em, we’re still pretty hot.”

“Okay…?”

“So, even if it was just a few moments of showin’ ‘em what we missed, if we were to be in a relationship with _not them_ , they might feel a little bit like they were missin’ out?”

Kei’s brows draw together. “I don’t think I follow.”

“We’d just– just like, a few friend outings. ‘n on our private socials. Just like, _pretend_ to date. For a little while. Even if all it does is throw ‘em off our scent while we commiserate ‘n mourn the fact that they’re probably gonna get married.”

Kei blinks. “Excuse me.”

“Just for a little while! Or a long while. I mean, this is an old crush we’re dealin’ with here, alright! And I love– I love Shouyou, Megane-kun.”

“You– oh.” Kei, to their credit, doesn’t choke on their coffee like they sort of thought that they would. But they don’t know what they’re supposed to say to that. Like– love.

“Yeah. And I dunno, I want him to be happy. I really do, ‘n I accepted a long time ago that didn’t mean me. But that doesn’t make it easy.”

It’s horrible, because Kei feels like they’re hearing their own emotions echoed back to them. That’s how they’ve been feeling about Kageyama. They love him, they want him to be happy, want to see him happy.

But it still hurts, knowing they’re not the one who’ll make him happy.

“But I don’t wanna come across like I’m not supportive, and I just thought…”

“Having someone to act disgustingly infatuated with would distract from the reality of our own miserable implied rejection,” Kei concludes, sighing.

“Yeah!!”

They nod and set down the mug of coffee. “I don’t know. Can I think about it? It’s kind of– well, it’s stupid.”

Hoshiumi gapes for a moment, then laughs loudly. “Jeez! Ya don’t gotta be so damn blunt like that! I know it’s a bad idea! But I don’t totally hate ya and I know that ya don’t hate me either.”

“You don’t know shit.”

“Yer still here, ain’t ya?”

It’s ridiculous. They can’t even argue with it, and that’s usually their main tell. That they’re still here. But the only person who calls them out on it is Yamaguchi, sometimes the idiots.

“Yeah.” They look down to hide a smile. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Ya can take some time to think about it, though.” Hoshiumi picks up a piece of toast. “I know it’s a lot, ‘n we got the start of the season ‘n everything. Take yer time, and we’ll see, yeah?”

Kei nods. “Yeah.”

When Kei gets back to their apartment, wearing the same clothes as the previous night, they do not want to open the door. They already know what view is awaiting them, and they’re not sure that their poor hangover can handle the judgmental, but not judgmental, look that Yamaguchi will give. Just disappointed. Worried. Frustrated that Kei ran out like that.

Or maybe Kei’s just projecting.

They haven’t checked their phone; they put their number into Hoshiumi’s and told him to text them, so they’ll save his number later. They don’t want to even think about the number of missed calls or texts.

But they have to open the door, so they do.

“I’m home,” they call, toeing off their shoes and hanging up their coat.

“Tsukki!”

Kei looks up to see a furious Yamaguchi standing before them.

“Hi.”

“Don’t you _hi_ me!” he shouts. “I was so worried! Tsukishima Kei! You bolted out of the bar and then I didn’t see you for hours afterwards! You just disappeared! You just! Where were you! I was terrified!”

“I went home with Hoshiumi Kourai.”

That makes Yamaguchi stop, and he gapes at them. “You went home with Hoshiumi Kourai?”

“That’s what I just said, isn’t it?” Kei deadpans. “Yes. We went to his place. We drank a fuck load of kahlúa. We were so drunk that we passed out. He brought me water and toast this morning. He called me a cab.”

Yamaguchi nods, visibly relaxes. “Did you sleep together?”

“Yeah, we just slept, in his bed, but we slept.” Kei shrugs. “We talked. That’s really it.”

“Okay.”

“Hey.” Kei wrings their hands and looks at Yamaguchi sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. It got so out of hand, so fast. I didn’t even realize that I– but I did. I just couldn’t be there anymore.”

Yamaguchi nods, his face sympathetic. “It was hard.”

“I love him,” and that’s the first time Kei’s ever said that out loud.

Yamaguchi reaches out to hug them tight and close. “Yeah. Yeah, I know, Tsukki.”

“Hoshiumi-san’s in love with Hinata.”

Yamaguchi pulls back just enough to gape at Kei. “Shit! I didn’t realize there was going to be tea! Come on! We can heat up some leftovers and you have to spill! Oh, is that what you talked about? Were you sharing each other’s agony over seeing your high school loves end up together? Aww, Tsukki~!”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Kei groans. “And for your information, it’s _much_ worse than that.”

That just makes Yamaguchi look happier, and he drags Kei along to sit in the living room.

“Okay! Spill! All of it!”

“We drunkenly talked about our stupid high school crushes panning out like this,” Kei says, slumping where they sit. “And then, he suggested the stupidest thing I have ever heard.”

Yamaguchi leans forward, beyond intrigued. It makes Kei want to flick him in the forehead.

“He suggested that we – he and I – pretend to _date_.” Kei’s nose wrinkles just thinking about it. “I mean, he thinks that it would either make them jealous, or at least distract them from _us_ being jealous. And that’s just stupid.”

“Well…” Yamaguchi taps his chin thoughtfully. “You _are_ kind of obvious with your feelings, Tsukki. Having a fake boyfriend just might distract from everything else going on!”

“Are you high?” Kei deadpans.

“I’m serious! Not only will it throw them off your trail, but it might help you too! And you never know! Maybe, Hoshiumi-san will turn out to be a good boyfriend–!”

“Are you _high_ ,” Kei repeats.

“I’m just saying, Tsukki! You should think about it!”

Kei doesn’t think about it.

It’s volleyball season, anyways. Nowhere near time to be getting themself overthinking about something stupid like fake dating a guy they’ve talked to twice. Even though they’ve exchanged numbers, they haven’t even _texted_.

Honestly, Kei has all but forgotten about it. And then, the inevitable happens.

It’s April of 2019 and the Volleyball League is on its off-season. There’s still practice, but no official games until October, so their friend circle has a bit of downtime. Since, you know, everyone and their childhood friend plays volleyball, apparently. And of course, university is over too. Really, the whole universe has just lined up for right now.

The idiot duo have moved in together, a nice apartment to share, and they invite everyone over for a housewarming party.

It feels like the night that they confessed all over again. Kei feels the agony in their chest, feels how _stupid_ it is to be so affected, five months later. Five months spent _not thinking_ about any of it. Not Hinata, not Kageyama, not Hoshiumi.

All Kei had to focus on was volleyball and finishing uni. And for _what_?

To be hiding in the corner of some stupid housewarming party, sipping a glass of water, trying to look at any- and everything but the hosts of said party. This is not how they wanted to spend their first month of freedom.

Hoshiumi is there, and he catches Kei’s eye, gives them an understanding look. Disgusting. They hate this. They hate _him_. They hate that just enough kahlúa was enough to make them _confide_ in him.

Kei looks away. They’re not getting into this. Absolutely not. They won’t give Hoshiumi the satisfaction of being right.

Five months until matches start up again.

During that time, Kei goes to practice. They work in the museum. And then, they come home to where Yamaguchi is still working, and that’s the life that they’ve come to like.

The only problem is that Kageyama still wants to hang out every week. Kei sees him, but Hinata is always there, and it’s always different. Even if Hinata and Kei got along nicely, it’s just. It’s not the same as when it was just Kei and Kageyama.

Yamaguchi starts coming with Kei, and now it’s nowhere near the same, but at least it’s bearable. At least some of the awkward tension is lifted, because Yamaguchi just has that kind of presence in a room. Absently, Kei thinks that this is why he was the one picked to be captain. He always was the best at handling their group.

It's July, the next time that their friend group gets together. Hinata wants a beach outing, wants the pros to face off in beach volleyball. Kei agrees to go because it would be more suspicious if they don’t. People are starting to notice that they’re not a fan of being around Hinata and Kageyama, and that it’s different than high school.

But whatever.

Apparently, they’ve rented out a private beach. That makes sense, since no celebrity of any kind really wants their personal business displayed on the cover of a gossip magazine. Especially not when most of them aren’t even _out_.

Kei wears a tank top and shorts, because they don’t swim. They’re certainly not about to play volleyball when their own indoors practice is grueling enough as it is (at least, that’s what they tell themself, for now). They sit underneath an umbrella, feeling just a bit like a model because well, honestly. Kei flips through a novel that they’ve read before, so they’re not paying much attention.

“Oi, goldilocks.”

Their brow furrows on instinct. Of course he’s here.

“You know, normal people say _hello_ , Hoshiumi-san,” they say with no inflection in their voice. “What do you want.”

“A rematch,” Hoshiumi replies easily. “Ya know, they’re about to start a game of beach volleyball. I got Sachirou on my team, and we’re about to face off against Bokkun, so I just thought maybe ya would like to be the blocker we go against.

“You’re going to play proper, two-on-two, beach volleyball?” Kei frowns over at the volleyball net, where Hirugami (the younger, who isn’t on a pro team) and Bokuto are standing in wait.

“You should go, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi calls from where he’s leaning over the cooler, pulling out a beer. _Gross_. “Beach volleyball might be fun!”

“Or I’ll suck at it,” Kei sighs, but they stand up anyways. “So, I’m with Bokuto-san, then?”

“Tsukki!” Bokuto shouts when he sees them approaching. Kei flinches, both at the volume and the nickname, but then Bokuto is wrapping them up in a strong hug and. Okay. That’s not terrible. Not that they’ll admit it. “You’re on my team! Let’s show these seagulls just what they’re up against!”

All of the V-League experience in the world has done nothing to prepare any of them for the _sand_. It’s annoying, and the wind is equally annoying, and Kei hates that Hoshiumi is mostly still good at it. Luckily, their play style has never required _much_ movement, and they’re long enough to make do.

The hardest part it connecting with the ball, getting it to Bokuto. But they make it through the match pretty evenly, so Kei won’t complain.

“I can’t believe you really joined a V-League Two team!” Bokuto says to them when the match is done. “You’ve grown so much, Tsukki! I’m such a proud senpai!”

And then Bokuto is squeezing the life out of them again, and Kei thinks that it’s completely acceptable to die like this.

“Whatever; it’s your fault,” they mutter, and Bokuto (and Hoshiumi) give them a puzzled look. “You were always all… at training camp, and then you made me practice, and. Yeah.”

“You got hooked,” Bokuto says knowingly. “It’s because you stopped sucking so much.”

Kei rolls their eyes, but they don’t argue, because they know that they sucked. But they don’t anymore, and that’s what matters.

The day continues on, and Kei returns to their spot under the umbrella. It only takes an hour before Hoshiumi sits across from them.

“Ya know, I should be offended that ya never called,” he starts, voice light and teasing. “But I guess now’s as good a time as any to ask if ya ever thought about it.”

Kei sighs and sets their book down. “I thought about it a few times,” they admit, “but it never stopped being stupid. Plus, there’s no way we’d pull it off. Not believably.”

“Why not?” Hoshiumi presses. “I mean, it’s not like we’re super obvious about our _real_ feelings. We’ve had multiple excuses to run into each other and get to know each other. So, why do you think we can’t do this?”

“Because it’s not a real thing people _do_ ,” they say. “I mean, have you ever heard of anyone doing that?”

Hoshiumi shakes his head. “Isn’t that the part that _makes it_ believable? The fact that no one would expect it?”

Kei rolls their eyes. “Look, Hoshiumi-san, I’m not going to just magically become some affectionate partner. No one is going to look at me looking at you and think, _yeah, Kei’s dating him_. Not for any reason.”

Hoshiumi hums and moves closer on the towel. “So, you’re afraid that you can’t put on a believable show?”

“I’ve only ever held hands with Yamaguchi. No, I don’t think I would put on a believable show.”

Hoshiumi moves closer again. “Do ya trust me, Tsukishima?”

“No,” Kei replies instantly.

Hoshiumi doesn’t even look fazed; he just smiles as if he was expecting that answer. “Do ya think ya could learn to?”

Kei raises an eyebrow, considering. The truth is probably yes, and they don’t even know why. Possibly because Hoshiumi already knows an embarrassing amount about them, and he hasn’t aired their secrets out to the entire V-League, so maybe, just maybe, he has some trustworthy qualities.

In the end, they shrug. “Maybe.”

“Then, let’s do this together. If ya trust me, then I can lead the way. Ya don’t have to worry. Just don’t shove me off of ya suddenly or pull a face when I get close.”

 _Close_. Something Hoshiumi is already getting, and Kei doesn’t know how they feel about that. It’s not exactly new. There had been a _lot_ of being _close_ the last time that Kei and Hoshiumi truly spent time together. So, maybe it’ll be fine. They just have to…trust him?

They don’t like it. Not one bit. But they see Kageyama and Hinata kissing with the sunset painting the sky over the ocean and–

“Okay.”

Hoshiumi smiles. “Then, I’m gonna do something. And you can totally punch me later, when everyone’s going home.”

Kei grimaces, just a bit, but they nod. As it is, they’re pretty sure that they know what’s coming.

Hoshiumi leans closer, and for a moment, Kei is stunned by his eyes. They’re gold, but green, but…not? They’re some color that Kei has never really seen before, much less tried to process, and then they’re closing, closed…

 _Close_.

They feel Hoshiumi’s breath against their lips, and it takes all of Kei’s willpower not to tense up or run. This is the real reason they’ve been in the same stagnant romantic feeling for years. If they ever did anything about their feelings, they would have to face this awful _fight/flight/freeze_ sensation threatening to take over their whole body.

And then, Hoshiumi’s hand cups their cheek. His nose bumps theirs, and his head tilts, and. Okay, he definitely knows what he’s doing, and Kei definitely doesn’t. But they finally realize, _Huh, I should close my eyes now_ , and just as they come to that conclusion, Hoshiumi’s lips are on theirs.

Kei will never tell you if you asked them, but they melt at the touch immediately. They are nothing but clay in Hoshiumi’s gentle hand, moving their head to a better angle as he presses soft, fleeting kisses to their lips. It takes a few before they figure out this whole _kissing back_ business, but they do, and _wow_.

Hoshiumi pulls back, and Kei absolutely does not follow after his lips. Absolutely does _not_ mourn the loss of his touch. Their eyes flutter back open, lips still parted a bit. Okay. So, that just happened.

“Yer gonna have to get used to callin’ me _Kourai_ , now, goldilocks,” Hoshiumi says, laughing lightly. “If we’re really gonna try ‘n pull this thing off.”

“You should use my _name_ , then,” Kei replies evenly.

“I don’t think I will,” Hoshiumi hums, leaning back on his heels. “Really, _goldilocks_ just sounds like a cute pet name, don’tcha think?”

“No, I don’t,” Kei says. Any traces of whatever they felt through the kiss disappears into annoyance once again. “Or are you too nervous to use my name, _Kourai_?”

The challenge works, and Kei sees it fire up in Hoshiumi’s eyes.

“Alright, _Kei_. I guess I can use yer name sometimes, _Kei_.”

Kei clicks their tongue and kicks him. “Get off my towel. I’m still reading, you know.”

“Can’t believe ya’d be so mean to yer fake boyfriend, _Kei_. Can’tcha see I’m tryin’ to bond with ya? Show ya my undying affection?”

“Gross,” Kei says, but they’re laughing too. They try to kick him away again, but Hoshiumi just catches their ankle and lays himself between their legs, looking up at them.

“Aww, what’s the matter, _honey_? Embarrassed to be seen bein’ affectionate with me, the love of yer life?”

“You suck. I’m fake breaking up with you.”

Hoshiumi just laughs and leans against Kei’s chest, pushing them down to lay on the towel. “Yeah, but Tobio ‘n Shouyou finally saw us. Can’t give up so soon, eh?”

Kei looks over Hoshiumi’s shoulder to where the idiot duo are, hand-in-hand, talking quietly as Hinata gestures _way_ too obviously in Kei and Hoshiumi’s direction.

Huh.

Kei sighs and lays their head back. “Fine. I _guess_ a couple more hours of this won’t hurt.”

“So, we have a deal?”

“We have a deal.”


	2. Tell Me Right Before It Goes Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, I'm back 🥴 I know, it's been a Hot Minute™ and for that, I sincerely apologize! Honestly, I finished this chapter over a month ago, then I was touching it up, and then I just?? I don't know, got nervous to post it. I think it exists twice in my drafts too, which I have no idea how to fix haha. Anyways! The Boys! Back again! It's been a whole year now since Tam and I first explored HoshiTsukki dynamic in our RP server, and the fact I've been a weakling for them for that long already is wild!? The sole purpose of this fic is to just. Love them and maybe get others to love them too. Yeah 😊
> 
> And the chapter title is from Troye Sivan's _Bloom_ 😉

Kei invites Hoshiumi and Hirugami (Sachirou) to their apartment to negotiate the terms of this whole fiasco.

Hirugami and Yamaguchi are there for a very simple reason: no one would believe Kei and Hoshiumi were dating unless their best and oldest friends were in on all of the details. It’s essential that they’re in on it, if they’re going to pass this off.

So, there’s tea and sweets on the coffee table and the four of them are sat on the floor, mostly awkward and silent. Kei is sitting beside Hoshiumi, since they’re the ones “leading the discussion” or whatever. Yamaguchi and Hirugami have said very little to each other, which makes sense, since they don’t really know each other.

Kei has a notebook and a pen at the ready.

“When did we meet?” they start, because that seems like the easiest question to start with.

Hoshiumi snorts. “Uh, in high school, on the volleyball court? Everyone was there? Think harder, goldilocks.”

Kei clicks their tongue and scribbles out that question. “Okay, smartass, then how did we get together? When?”

“After Adlers versus Jackals, probably,” Yamaguchi offers. “I mean, everyone kind of saw you guys leave together… it isn’t that far of a stretch!”

“What do you think, Hoshiumi-san?”

“I think that means tellin’ people we’ve been dating for almost a year. Ya up for that?”

“Knowing me, there’s no _way_ I’d let a relationship be known to our circle until I was confident that it was something long-term,” Kei says easily. “I think if we said it was any earlier, they’d be more suspicious.”

“Which is why we’re here,” Yamaguchi adds. “We’re the only people who would’ve realistically known. Tsukki tells me everything, after all.”

“Kourai doesn’t tell me _everything_ ,” Hirugami says, “but I guess he’d probably tell me if he was dating someone he thought was cute in high school.”

Kei raises an eyebrow and looks at Hoshiumi. Not that it wasn’t mutual but, come on, really? Kei thought that they were the only one who was enjoying their on-court banter that much.

“Shut up, Sachirou, I did _not_ ,” Hoshiumi grumbles. “Okay, so last November. We went back to my place.”

“I stayed the night,” Kei continues, “because we were drunk and it got too late to leave.”

“So far, this is just what actually happened,” Yamaguchi notes. “Is that going to get confusing?”

“I think lies are easier when they’re mixed in nicely to the truth,” Kei counters. “Now, in the morning, we both woke up in your bed. We didn’t have sex, we just slept together.”

“Aww, c’mon, don’t ya wanna tell everyone you got some of this,” Hoshiumi laughs. Kei gives him a flat stare, and Hoshiumi pouts. “Fine then. No sexy times.”

“You brought me breakfast in bed, and it was just toast, but I was charmed by it or whatever.”

“You were _so_ charmed by that, goldilocks, admit it!”

“We exchanged numbers, and I called you a few days later.”

“Ah, which ya never ended up doin’.” Hoshiumi has the nerve to look offended over that. “M’kay, so what was our first date? I would’ve probably taken ya to a small-time theatre that shows the movies when they’re out of the normal theatres, y’know? Just so it would be emptier ‘n no one would catch two pro players together.”

Kei just writes as Hoshiumi talks, because that sounds pretty good. “I walked you home.”

“I walked _you_ home,” Hoshiumi argues.

“No, because the theatre was by your place, so _I_ walked _you_ home, and then took the train back,” Kei says firmly.

“ _Fine_ , ya walked me home. Then what?”

“I didn’t call you for two weeks,” Kei concludes.

“Hah? Did I call _you_? Why didn’t ya call?”

“No, I think Tsukki’s right,” Yamaguchi interrupts. “It would be hard to imagine Tsukki _felt something_ and then _confronted_ it right away. They probably ghosted you.”

Hoshiumi pouts as if it were actually happening, and Kei thinks about smoothing over the displeased crinkle in his forehead. _Huh. Weird_.

“Fine. If ya ghosted me, then I was probably gettin’ ready to let ya go and just forget about it. I wouldn’t call more ‘n three times before deciding ya just weren’t into me,” Hoshiumi sighs. “What next?”

“I text you.”

“ _What_?! It’s been two weeks of radio silence ‘n ya just _text me_?!”

“I spent two weeks angsting over the fact I liked you more than I expected to,” Kei pushes on, “and then, I texted you.”

“Just a text?”

“It was just a text with a location attached. A café, one with a really good bakery. A location and a time to meet there. I didn’t think you’d show up, but I wanted to apologize. Which I’m notoriously bad at.”

Hoshiumi hums with thought, and Hirugami takes that as a chance to pop in.

“You probably would have sent me screenshots,” he says, “and asked if I thought you should go. I would’ve told you to go and at least hear them out, at most, chew them out in person.”

“That woulda sounded like a good idea,” Hoshiumi laughs. “Gettin’ to tell ya off to your face. Alright. So, I’m pissed off, but I show up anyways to your café.”

“It’s cute. I’ll show it to you for real some time, so you can picture this better, but just know it’s cute and you would’ve liked it.”

Hoshiumi rolls his eyes. “It’s cute and I like it, but I’m still pissed off at ya.”

“Which I expect,” Kei says. “I’m not good at apologizing, so I probably look like I’m having an aneurism trying to get out the words, _I’m sorry_.”

“That would initially piss me off even more, but I’d ask for an explanation because no one invites someone to a cute café unless they’ve prepared an explanation.”

“I would then, with several more aneurism expressions, tell you that I really like you, and that’s what made it hard to call. I didn’t expect to like you, I didn’t expect to like talking to you outside of volleyball. It’s a horrible reason, but I liked you too much to call you. It seems like the sort of thing that could be real, and serious, and I’ve never had that before.”

Hoshiumi’s expression softens, and Kei doesn’t know why it feels like they’re having this conversation for real. It’s not like Kei didn’t call Hoshiumi because of _that_. They didn’t call because they were busy, and also because they still thought this fake dating thing was stupid.

“I decide to forgive ya, because yer bein’ honest and look real cute when you’re embarrassed and awkward like this,” Hoshiumi says. “And that’s how we get our start.”

Kei nods. “That sounds good. But I probably asked you not to tell anyone, because it would scare me more.”

“And I liked ya, so I said it was okay. We could keep it on the downlow until we knew for sure this was what we wanted.”

“Which is why we never talked during friend outings, so that they didn’t realize we were together.”

“But after playing beach volleyball and spending time together, it just felt too hard to keep it a secret, and I had to kiss ya right then and there,” Hoshiumi concludes. “And ya like me too much to try ‘n stop me.”

Kei rolls their eyes, but they know that they wouldn’t be able to _argue_ in front of their friends– not without risking that this is all a lie. “So, we’ve been sort of seeing each other for eight months, but properly for closer to seven.”

“How often do we go on dates?”

“Mostly we stay in because we’re both busy.”

“How serious are we?”

Kei purses their lips. “I let you get to second base once and I left my extra contacts at your place, so I guess we’re getting close to the _I love you_ stage, but not yet.”

“ _Only_ second base?”

“I’m a virgin and emotions are hard, you have to be patient.”

“ _Fine_.”

Kei looks up from the notes they’re writing to see Hirugami and Yamaguchi looking equally perplexed and horrified.

“You two have to hear this,” Kei says, “because we’d have told you about all the details.”

“Can’t you just tell people it’s none of their business?” Yamaguchi groans.

“Yeah, and we will, but this gives _perspective_ ,” Kei argues. “We need to know more than we let them know, that way we can lie more effectively.”

“I’m concerned by how easily that logic comes to you,” Hoshiumi snorts. “Alright. That sounds good!”

“We should probably get to know each other though.”

“Oh, true.”

“And over seven months means that we’d have to meet each other’s families soon.”

Hoshiumi hums. “That can be arranged.”

“So, we’re really doing this?”

“We’re really doing this.”

_(“Do you think they’re going to be able to do it, Hirugami-san?”_

_“I give them two months, Yamaguchi.”)_

It’s still July the next time that their friend circle gets together, this time at Hinata’s and Kageyama’s apartment.

Kei and Hoshiumi arrive together, since the fake cat is out of the fake bag, holding hands and looking like they’re really a couple. As anticipated, Hinata jumps them immediately with an interrogation.

Hinata’s curiosity gets the rest of the crowd curious, and Kei and Hoshiumi are bombarded with questions about how they got together and if it’s serious and _why didn’t you tell us sooner, Stingyshima!_

They feel a little awkward and a _lot_ embarrassed during the hangout, because Hoshiumi has taken his spot on the floor in between Kei’s legs. Kei is sitting on the couch, so Hoshiumi has their legs over his shoulders and occasionally rests his head on their thigh. It’s the most intimate they’ve ever let anyone get with them, even more than Yamaguchi, and they feel like everyone’s staring at them.

Yeah, they’re probably imagining it, but it still feels like it.

“Do you guys want beer?” Hinata asks as he’s about to head to the kitchen.

Some people say yes, others just ask for water. Hoshiumi says yes to the beer, and then proclaims with too much confidence, “But ya know that my Kei-chan won’t drink anything alcoholic unless it’s their precious kahlúa and milk!”

And a few people laugh because they know it’s true, but Kei’s entire being is _burning_ , because he called them _my Kei-chan_.

Kei has never been anyone’s anything, except for _Akiteru’s baby brother_ and _Yamaguchi’s best friend_. They’ve _certainly_ never been anyone’s _Kei_. It’s not even real, and their heart is pounding.

“Shut up,” they mumble out of habit. A defense mechanism of sorts, when they’re embarrassed.

Hoshiumi laughs like he expected that and squeezes their calves affectionately. “What’s the matter, goldilocks? Everyone knows ya only drink that.”

Kei purses their lips and refuses to dignify that with a response. He knows _exactly_ what the matter is and Kei knows it.

Kageyama catches Kei in the hallway, when they’re off to find the bathroom. They blink at him, a little surprised to see him here and not with the others– with Hinata.

“Tsukishima,” he says, “you okay? You’ve been off all day.”

Kei rolls their eyes. They hate how sincere he is, hate how much they’d like to kiss the worry lines out of his forehead.

“I’m okay. It’s just a little disorientating, letting everyone see that… to see me and Kourai, you know. Sometimes, it feels like I’m still getting used to him holding my hand when we’re alone, much less in a crowd.” There’s no one around, so it doesn’t matter if they’re sincere.

“Yeah, it’s weird seeing you let anyone be soft with you,” Kageyama agrees, smirking. “I’m… a little surprised neither of you told anyone. That you never– I mean, when we had drinks, he never came up.”

“King, there’s no good way to tell your friend that you’re dating his teammate, and there’s no good way for me to tell anyone anything,” Kei sighs. “It’s– I needed time. I can’t just talk about things like normal people do. I can’t confess in a crowded bar, kiss in a room full of people.”

Kageyama nods and looks at the floor. “Yeah, I guess that’s never been you.”

“Go back to your shrimp,” Kei tells him, nudging his shoulder lightly. “I’m just looking for the can, and no offense, but you’re kinda holding me up here.”

“Oh! Oh, sorry,” Kageyama laughs. “It’s the second door down the hall. Well, I’ll see you back out there.”

“Yeah.”

Later, when they’re on their way back to Hoshiumi’s – that’s where Kei’s planning to drop him off, at least – Hoshiumi glances at them.

“Ya seem bothered, Kei,” he says bluntly. “What’s the matter?”

Kei grimaces. They hate that it’s that obvious how they feel about this whole ordeal. “I’m just uncomfortable and embarrassed.”

Hoshiumi’s eyes immediately widen, and he stops. “I didn’t mean to cross any lines. I’m real sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s– that’s not what I mean,” they say. Ugh, this is why they don’t communicate feelings. It never comes out right. “Hoshiumi-san. I don’t date, and I don’t get affectionate with people. I’m not used to people saying… _things_ like that to me. So, yeah, experiencing all of this for the first time, in front of everyone I know, it’s– awkward, and uncomfortable.”

Hoshiumi nods slowly, and his eyes are filled with some kind of determination that Kei can’t quite decipher. “I get ya. Alright.”

He continues walking the last block to his apartment, and Kei follows close behind. They’re not sure what that means.

Hoshiumi stops in front of his building and looks at Kei. “C’mon. You’re coming inside.”

Kei would argue, but they’re too emotionally exhausted to even try, so they trudge in after Hoshiumi while trying to figure out what’s happening.

Hoshiumi greets the person at the front desk and a couple of people Kei assumes are his neighbors on the way to the elevator. The two of them are alone for the ride up, which is a little relieving. Kei has had enough of _groups_ for one evening.

The elevator reaches Hoshiumi’s floor, and he leads them to his apartment. It’s been eight months since they were last here, so they don’t really remember which it is. Once Hoshiumi opens the door, however, there is a vague sense of recognition as they look around. Right.

“I never really thought about how all this is so new to ya, even though it’s fake,” Hoshiumi begins. “I should’ve been more considerate to the fact you need to get used to someone fawning over ya and being close all the time. I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever,” they mumble. “That’s why it would’ve taken me seven months to get used to that, you know.”

Hoshiumi nods. “And I shoulda caught that, but I didn’t. You need to get used to this where your friends ain’t teasing ya. So, c’mere.”

He holds his hands out to Kei, palms open. Unsure, Kei places their hands in his. “Um, okay.”

Hoshiumi runs his thumbs over their knuckles and pulls them a little closer. “Ya gotta get used to closeness and tenderness, yeah? This’ll help.”

They don’t know what to feel right now, with him looking up at them the way he is. They know that it’s to get them _used to_ that expression, but it feels… warm. It takes a lot more willpower than they’d like to admit, not to look away.

“Ya seemed most embarrassed when I called ya my _Kei-chan_. Is that a hard no, or were ya just thrown off?” Hoshiumi asks, and there’s so much genuine concern and care in his voice.

“I was thrown off,” they mumble, barely managing to maintain eye contact.

“Okay. What else?”

Kei grimaces. Only Yamaguchi ever gets them talking about feelings, but they can see there’s no escaping this here.

“The way you were sitting. It was just weird, I guess. I’m not used to someone sitting so close to me for such a long time?”

Hoshiumi nods and steps close enough that their chests – well, Hoshiumi’s chest and Kei’s stomach – touch. “So, ya need to get used to hearin’ sweet things and being physically close. Got it. And yer sure ya still want to do this?”

They nod. There’s no way they’re backing out _now_. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

“C’mere. Lean down, ya ginormous tree. I can’t reach you up there.”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” they bite back. But they lean down anyways, just a bit.

Hoshiumi smiles like he just won a game Kei didn’t know they were playing. “There we go. Ya know, ya got the prettiest eyes?”

Kei understands what he’s doing, but the compliment still makes them squirm a bit. If he’s just going to stand there, praising them, they’re going to die of humiliation. They start to look away, but Hoshiumi’s hand comes up to tilt their head back to him.

“Oi. It’s okay, just some words, goldilocks. If ya can’t handle compliments, then you’ll never convince everyone we’re really a couple, right?”

Kei huffs and fidgets a little, but they nod. “Fine.”

“Thank you.”

And really, Kei should be thanking _him_ for being patient with them right now. This is definitely more trouble than it’s worth for a fake relationship, too much preparation for so few performances. They haven’t even planned on when to fake their breakup, but the fact they’re claiming to have been together for over seven months already complicates that.

“You’re overthinking,” Hoshiumi notes, an amused gleam in his eyes. “From up close, it’s real easy to tell when yer brain is going into overdrive.”

“I’m just thinking. It’s a phenomenon that I’m sure your brain isn’t familiar with.”

“Alright, smartass. What’s wrong now?”

“Nothing is wrong,” they say defensively. “This whole situation is just… weird. And it seems like you’re going through a lot more trouble for this than I am.”

“Kei, yer the one who looks five seconds from combusting just because I held your hand in public,” Hoshiumi argues. “I think it’s more trouble for you. I’m just making it even.”

Kei averts their eyes, since Hoshiumi can’t bring _that_ back with a nudge of his hand. But then he brushes his thumb against their cheekbone and their eyes snap back to him, wide and confused.

“It might help if ya didn’t look so shocked every time I touch you,” Hoshiumi says with a warm laugh. “I’m a pretty good actor, ‘n you’re a pretty good liar.”

“I guess that makes us a good team, then,” Kei sighs. They take a deep breath and force themself to relax into Hoshiumi’s hand on their cheek. “What now?”

“Now, you listen to me until you stop looking like yer gonna hurl every time I say something nice,” Hoshiumi tells them, thumb brushing against their cheek again.

Their heart feels like it’s in their throat. Why does everything have to feel like _so much_?

“I really like your hair like this,” he says, moving to run his fingers through their bangs. “It’s so soft and fluffy, like a cloud of gold. You always look so put together, like a real adult now.”

“I am a real adult,” Kei mumbles. “You’re older than me.”

“Yeah.” Hoshiumi smiles, bringing both his arms over Kei’s shoulders. “I know ya probably will hate this, but yer super cute when you’re embarrassed. I never expected you to _blush_ so hard.”

Kei squirms at that. They’re full aware that they are a full-body blusher. It’s a fact which has plagued them ever since junior high when they started getting fleeting crushes on cute boys. As much as they like to act collected, anyone who pays any amount of attention will realize that Kei wears their emotions pretty loudly.

“Hey, you’re doin’ it now!” Hoshiumi looks thoroughly pleased with himself, and Kei frowns. Well, it probably looks more like a pout. “I’m kinda wondering how far the blush goes…”

Hoshiumi watches them closely, probably to see the way red is spreading from their cheeks down their neck. Everything about this is awful. They hate feeling vulnerable. And then, Hoshiumi curiously pulls at their shirt collar to take a peak, and he chuckles. Kei stands up straight to dislodge Hoshiumi from them and steps back.

“Shut up,” they say, before he can even comment.

“This is really hard for you, isn’t it? Being flirted with?”

“I told you, I’m not– I’ve never even casually flirted. I don’t know how to act like I’ve been dating you for the better part of a year and am probably in love with you without telling you quite yet, because I don’t know what that’s supposed to feel like. I only know how to have unrequited, silent feelings, for people who see me as a friend.”

“Would it help if you initiated it?” Hoshiumi wonders aloud, like he’s _really_ giving this thought.

“I…wouldn’t even know how,” Kei mumbles, though it probably _would_ help.

“It’s easy, I promise.” Hoshiumi steps close again. “Put your hands on my waist. Go on.”

Kei makes a strangled noise in the back of their throat, but they do what Hoshiumi says. And then, their eyes widen a little, because _wow_. Hoshiumi is really tiny. They stare at where their hands sit on Hoshiumi’s waist and stretch their fingers around him and… Yep. They can almost fit their hands completely around his waist.

“Havin’ fun?” Hoshiumi grumbles, like he can tell exactly what they’re thinking. “Stop calling me a shrimp in your head, eyes up here.”

“It’s not really eyes _up_ for me,” Kei teases. They’re not sure if it was intentional, but it feels like they have the upper hand now. And then, it hits them. It’s the lack of control, all the unpredictable elements. Having to be _led through this_ , instead of calling the shots.

“Shut up,” Hoshiumi shoots back, giving them a light kick in the shins. “Now, I know this is probably gonna be hard for ya, but can you think of something _nice_ to say to me right now? You don’t even have to believe it.”

That’s another thing that’s oddly freeing– even if they say something that they mean, there’s an unspoken rule that Hoshiumi won’t assume they’re being honest.

“Okay, um…” They look at him, trying to think of something simple but nice. (Compliments have never been Kei’s strong suit.) “You…have freckles.”

Hoshiumi looks like he’s about to say that’s not a compliment, but Kei silences him with a sharp look.

“They didn’t show up, when we met in November, but I can see them now that it’s summer. And…they’re, uh. They’re cute. It’s a good look on you.”

Hoshiumi hums. “I guess for a first attempt, it didn’t suck. But I know you can do better than that.”

Kei isn’t really sure they can, but like hell they’re going to admit that. If they can say one thing that renders Hoshiumi speechless, makes him even an ounce as flustered as Kei has been all day, then it evens the playing field.

“Fine.”

They tilt their head and look at him a little more. It’s a gaze far too calculating for the situation– Kei knows they’re supposed to be dealing out a compliment, but they’re treating it more like they treat everything else. They’re analyzing him for weaknesses, so they can hit him where it’s most effective. Yes, this is with a compliment rather than an insult, but that doesn’t mean that Kei can’t use the same approach.

_His size, probably? No. This isn’t high school anymore. I have to be more personal, more sincere. He’s probably not used to being complimented outside of volleyball about anything beyond the surface level…_

“You’re patient and considerate,” Kei says bluntly. The execution could be a little better, they’re sure. “Most people would be frustrated and just give up on this with me by now. But you’re here, walking me through it, trying to make this easier for me. It’s thoughtful and kind in a way that I’m not used to being treated. You have a good heart.”

Hoshiumi blinks a couple of times. No blush, but he’s surprised, so that’s a win in Kei’s books.

“Damn, you didn’ even look like you were gonna gag through that one,” Hoshiumi laughs, patting them on the shoulder. “Oh, whoa.”

Kei frows and looks at where Hoshiumi is now stroking their deltoid. “Uh, what the fuck are you doing?”

Hoshiumi pulls his hand back and has the decency to look properly embarrassed. “You just– no, I’m an idiot, you play for a pro team. I shouldn’t be surprised about this.”

“About…?”

Hoshiumi gestures to Kei’s arms as if that’s a proper answer. Kei isn’t going to take it as one.

“You’ve got– I mean, in high school, you were such a twig! What happened!”

“I’m almost twenty-three years old, not sixteen. Yes, I bulked up, and what about it?”

“Nothing about it! I was just surprised!”

“Why?”

“You still look twigly!”

Kei squawks indignantly. “I do not! _You’re_ the one who looks like a fucking shrimp!”

“Wow, okay, firstly, I’m not even that short, but volleyball is filled with _giants_ ,” Hoshiumi barks. “Secondly, I’ll have you know that I am _compact_! I may be smaller than you, but I am filled with solid muscle underneath this tiny exterior–”

Kei raises their hands from Hoshiumi’s waist to his underarms, and lifts. As expected, Hoshiumi comes up from the ground pretty easily.

“You were _saying_?” Kei asks, still holding him like nothing.

And that seems to do it. Hoshiumi’s face goes bright red, the blush creeping up to his hairline and down his neck.

“Put me down! You’re such an asshole! Why am I being nice to you right now, you’re just making fun of me!” Hoshiumi punches their chest, but as he noted earlier, they’ve bulked up a little. The punches feel like nothing.

Still, Kei takes mercy and sets him back down. “I’m not nice,” they say, “and I don’t think being in a relationship could change that about me.”

“What?”

“This whole thing, being sweet and flirting with nice comments? I can’t do it, and I won’t,” Kei decides. “So, you’re either going to have to deal with the fact that I’m going to tease you and rile you up or take nothing at all. I can’t be touchy-feely in front of our friends. I will get annoyed at you for complimenting me because it’s embarrassing, and that’s just because I’m emotionally dense and these things are always going to be hard.”

“So, what, this is pointless?”

Kei shakes their head. “No. I need _this_ , I think. The alone time, to get used to it. Then, it’s less annoying around people, because we both know how to handle it when I get embarrassed.”

Hoshiumi taps his chin. “So, we should try spendin’ more time together? Go on practice dates?”

“And practice…other things,” Kei mumbles, looking away.

“Oho, and what _other things_ would that be?” Hoshiumi teases, trying to get back into their line of sight.

“Like holding hands and sitting close to each other, don’t be a freak,” Kei groans, shoving his face away from theirs.

“Admit it, you need more kissing practice,” Hoshiumi sighs, stretching up on his tiptoes. “I don’t _mind_ , it’s just kissing. The more you do it, the less scary it is.”

Kei rolls their eyes. “It’s not like I’m going to kiss you while we’re around our friends.”

“You did the first time,” Hoshiumi argues. “I think we should totally explore this line of thought.”

Kei snorts and backs away, moving to sit on the sofa. “No, _I_ think we should explore meeting each other’s families,” they say, hoping that’s a sufficient distraction. “That’s a totally different environment than around friends, so we have to be prepared for passing as actually together. My brother is a fucking bloodhound for lies.”

“He can’t be as bad as _my_ brother,” Hoshiumi huffs. “Alright, fine, we can talk about this. I guess it was bound to come up eventually.”

“We should do it soon,” Kei says, “because going together for the holidays would be too much pressure for the first time. It’ll be practice, before extended family could possibly get involved.”

At the words, _extended family_ , Hoshiumi shudders. Kei sympathizes.

“How soon is soon? ’Cause I don’t mind doing this like, tomorrow, as long as I give my folks a heads up.”

Kei shrugs. “First, we should go on one fake date. And we should talk about…well, I don’t know you too well, and you don’t really know me. We should know each other better before jumping into this.”

“Lie bloodhound, right,” Hoshiumi hums. He plops down on the sofa next to Kei, one leg folded under himself as he turns his body towards them. “At least we got our story down, so that’s one thing checked off.”

Kei nods, trying to think of how best to do this. “We can just ask random questions, I guess? Anything we can’t ask, we’re just going to have to observe by spending more time together.”

“I don’t have any practice this week.”

“Neither do I, but I still work.”

Hoshiumi shrugs. “I could always bug y’all in Sendai though, loiter around your and Yamaguchi-kun’s apartment for a couple days. If you have a week off soon, ya could do the same over here. We get to know each other and our habits, so when we’re with family, everything looks natural.”

Kei blinks. “That actually makes sense. You really do have a brain cell somewhere in there.”

“Oi, I could easily back out of this, you know!” Hoshiumi pouts. “If yer gonna be mean, that’s fine, but find the balance between flirting and bullying, goldilocks!”

Kei has to physically restrain themself from rolling their eyes. “Uh, sure, whatever. That wasn’t even that mean.”

“But it _was_ uncalled for.”

“I’m agreeing to your idea, in case you couldn’t tell. I’ll have to run it by Yamaguchi first, obviously, but you’re right. It would be a more natural way to get to know one another.”

“Good! Now, back to why I brought you here in the first place…” Hoshiumi sidles up closer to Kei’s side and rests his arm over the back of the couch behind their shoulders. “You still need to get used to sweet talk, because if this was real, I _would_ be gooey and affectionate. So, how do you think you can feel less out of control while I’m complimentin’ ya?”

“There’s no way to help that,” Kei says, “so just hit me with your worst and I’ll try not to squirm too much.”

Hoshiumi’s eyes light up with a spark of challenge at that, and Kei regrets their word choice. This is going to be terrible, they just know it.

“You know, back when you were here the last time, I noticed somethin’.” Hoshiumi lifts his hand from the couch and starts to card it through Kei’s hair, nails lightly scratching their scalp. Kei grits their teeth so that they don’t outwardly react to how nice that feels. “Ya really liked when I was playin’ with your hair.”

“Whatever.” Kei’s face is already heating back up; embarrassing.

Hoshiumi leans in closer, brushes his nose against their cheek. “You were practically purring like a little kitten. I never woulda pegged you as someone who likes affection so much, ya know that?”

“I am a human being with functioning emotions and a desire for intimacy and physical affection,” Kei mumbles, barely glancing at him from the corner of their eye. “I’m not a cold robot.”

“Course ya ain’t, I know that.” Hoshiumi’s other hand moves to hold theirs, caressing them gently. “You put up a good front, Kei, but once ya let someone in past the surface level…it’s obvious. Yer a bleeding heart.”

“Am not,” Kei argues.

“You wear your feelings like a tattoo,” Hoshiumi presses. He pulls his face back to look at them properly. “Sure, ya wear long sleeves so that no one can see ’em, but once you roll up the sleeves, it’s all there. Beautiful, intricate, like artwork on display.”

Hoshiumi moves his hand from theirs, up their arm, tracing imaginary patterns on their skin. There’s a chill down their spine, and they barely repress a shudder.

“Like right now, you’re just as fascinated as you are embarrassed,” Hoshiumi muses, his fingers dragging back down to their hand. “You are surprised anyone can even think these things about you, much less say them to you. Which I still find hard to believe, since I know you must’ve had fangirls in high school. How you can be so surprised by the fact people find you attractive is beyond me. But then, those girls never got a look beyond the first layer of you, right?”

“You’re trying too hard,” Kei complains.

“You’re just saying that ’cause it’s working,” Hoshiumi counters. “Can ya look at me, Kei?”

Kei obliges, turns their eyes to him. “What?”

Hoshiumi moves back and takes off their glasses, folding them neatly and setting them on the coffee table.

“There. Oh, wow. You look younger with these off.” Hoshiumi leans in closer to look at them, and Kei just stares with wide eyes. They can barely see half a shit, and they’re not sure if that’s better or worse. “Not a whole lot, but…you look softer. More innocent. Less angry at everyone and everything.”

“I’m not _angry_ , just annoyed,” Kei says. “You know I can’t see anything, right?”

Hoshiumi smirks, that much they can see, and he leans a little closer. “Goldilocks, can ya take a guess as for why I’d take off your glasses and then sit real close?”

“You’re still trying to make me agree to practice kissing?” Kei guesses, raising an eyebrow. “Which is stupid, but god, if you want to kiss me _that bad_ , just do it already.”

They’re expecting some snide reply, a smug comeback. Something that voices that Hoshiumi doesn’t want to kiss them, just wants to help them with the whole feeling-less-awkward thing. They’re _not_ expecting him to dive right in.

It’s gentle, despite the suddenness. Not too different from the first kiss on the beach, except Kei doesn’t have the anxiety in the back of their mind about an audience. Now, it’s a different sort of anxiety, one centered around the fact they’re agreeing to let this hurricane force of a man invade their life and their space, and they don’t even mind that much. Hoshiumi tilts his head into the kiss, just a little deeper, and Kei forgets what they’re thinking about.

Kei pulls back for a second, just to catch their breath. It wasn’t long or intense, so they shouldn’t feel like they just played all five sets of a match, but their lungs are tight and their heart is pounding.

“You okay?” Hoshiumi asks, and he’s still close, his breath is still on Kei’s lips.

Kei makes a noise that doesn’t really answer that question before they dive back in. It’s stupid. They’re being stupid, but here they are anyways, kissing him like their life depends on it. They barely even know what they’re doing, just mimicking the things he’d done the first two times, but it’s not going very well. At least, they’re assuming not, because Hoshiumi grins against their lips until a laugh slips out.

“You can’t make up for inexperience with enthusiasm,” he whispers, cupping their cheek. “There’s a time to kiss hard and fast, and what we’re doing isn’t quite it.”

“Sorry,” Kei mumbles, a little embarrassed. “I didn’t want to have to talk.”

“Well, that sure backfired,” Hoshiumi teases. He presses a soft kiss to their lips once more. “Just move slowly, goldilocks.”

Kei nods and leans back in, softer and slower. They try and focus on the feeling of their lips, pressing and sliding together, the foreign tingling sensation, the way that Hoshiumi has surprisingly soft lips. It helps them keep things at a decent pace, occasionally breaking away just to change their angle and do it all over again.

Hoshiumi pulls back this time, looking a little dazed. “Who the hell learns that fast?” he grumbles. “Do you wanna stop?”

Kei thinks about that for a moment. It’s not like Hoshiumi is repulsive in any way. Sure, they wouldn’t usually go out of their way to kiss him, but it’s not as if they have anything better to do right now. Even without feelings, kissing is sort of nice. They’re pleased to hear that they’re a fast learner, and something inside of them wants to see how much more they can learn before they have to catch the train back to Sendai.

“Teach me more,” they say. And then their face flushes, because that came out weird. But it seems like the right thing to say, judging by the satisfied look on Hoshiumi’s face. “If I’m a fast learner, then I might as well see what else I can pick up.”

Hoshiumi shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable. You can’t handle bein’ told that you’re gorgeous, but kissing on my couch is no big deal?”

Kei shrugs. “I’m a complicated man, Hoshiumi-san.”

“Yer a complicated somethin’, Kei.” Hoshiumi laughs and stands up, which confuses Kei, but they’ll wait for an explanation. “By the way, you should really try callin’ me Kourai when we’re alone too. God forbid ya call me _Hoshiumi-san_ in front of your folks.”

Kei rolls their eyes. “Yeah, alright, _Kourai_.” It still feels weird and foreign on their tongue, so they suppose that he’s got a point.

“Good. See, knew you could do it,” he teases. He rests his knee to the outside of their leg and looks down at them closely. “I’m gonna sit on yer lap now. Any complaints?”

“Uh, no?” Kei manages, though their voice wavers. They know they invited this to happen, but it doesn’t make them any less awkward about it.

Hoshiumi smiles softly. “You can tell me not to, y’know.”

“I know,” they snap back. “It’s fine, if I can get used to that then I can get used to anything.”

“If you’re sure,” Hoshiumi says. He slowly maneuvers himself onto their lap, straddling their legs.

To Kei’s relief, nothing’s like, _touching_ , not really. So, Hoshiumi seems to have positioned the both of them to avoid any awkward incidents. They can appreciate that much.

“Okay?” Hoshiumi checks.

Kei nods, a little more certain this time. “Yeah. It’s okay.”

“I maintain that you’re cute as hell when yer embarrassed,” Hoshiumi tells them, planting a kiss on their nose. “Just so ya know.”

“Are you going to kiss me again or not?” Kei grits, declining to acknowledge that their embarrassment is so glaringly obvious.

“Bossy,” Hoshiumi laughs. He leans in to kiss them once again.

Their lips meet, and it’s just as soft and chaste as before. Kei doesn’t know how this is supposed to be _new_ , other than the fact they’re not turning to face him at an awkward angle. But then Hoshiumi moves his lips against theirs, and it’s a little different, and…huh. Their lower lip slides in between his, and Kei draws in a shuddering breath through their nose. That doesn’t completely suck.

Hoshiumi smiles a little into the kiss before pulling back for a new angle. He captures their bottom lip with more intention and flicks his tongue out along it, just briefly.

Kei’s heart and stomach swoop like they’re on a rollercoaster, and they lean further into him without realizing it. Much to Kei’s chagrin, Hoshiumi pulls back after that.

“Are ya learning or just observing, goldilocks, ’cause it sure feels like I’m doin’ all the work here,” he says smugly.

Kei narrows their eyes at him. “I’m learning by observing, jackass,” they mutter.

“You want me to keep kissing you,” Hoshiumi realizes, way too satisfied with himself. “Now, that’s a turn of events I didn’t expect.”

Kei clicks their tongue and shoves Kourai off their lap and onto the couch. “Fuck off, you’re the one who said this was relevant practice.”

Hoshiumi props himself up on his forearms, looking at them with some sort of challenge in his eyes. Kei has no idea what that’s supposed to mean. He motions them closer with his head, and they turn on the couch to face him. Hoshiumi smiles and shakes his head, tugging them over him by the front of their shirt.

“If you’re learning, then show me,” Hoshiumi tells them before dropping back on the couch.

Kei’s face and neck burn looking down at him, but it’s a challenge. They know it is. There’s no way that they’ll back down from it, even if they’re embarrassed and still floundering to figure out what they’re doing. They brace an arm beside his head as they start to lay above him, and Hoshiumi’s eyes widen a fraction.

_He really didn’t think I would._

“What’s the matter, _Kourai_?” Kei asks. “Afraid for me to put my money where your mouth is?”

“No, I’m just impressed you can act so bold when ya look redder than an emergency light,” Hoshiumi scoffs. “Go on then, unless this was just for show?”

Kei dips down, pressing their lips to Hoshiumi’s. No need to start off slow again, it’s not like they haven’t been kissing for the last five minutes now. To be fair, Hoshiumi had only showed them one more thing. But it’s just kissing, isn’t it? Once you’ve got the basics, how hard can it really be?

They pull his bottom lip in between theirs, a little firmer than he’d done it, and the resulting sound tells them they did something right. Experimentally, Kei sucks on his bottom lip for a second before releasing it and pulling back. Hoshiumi follows after their mouth, and Kei can’t keep down a self-satisfied grin.

“What was that about doing all the work?” Kei asks against Hoshiumi’s lips.

Hoshiumi growls at them and sits up, pushing them up against the back of the couch. “Asshole.”

Kei has a snarky remark on the tip of their tongue, but it’s lost in Hoshiumi climbing back on their lap to reconnect their lips. It feels like a competition instead of a lesson, a competition Kei doesn’t plan to lose.

Hoshiumi bites their lip before soothing it with his tongue, more deliberately than before. They sigh shakily, lips parting ever so slightly. It’s the perfect opening, and Hoshiumi doesn’t waste a moment poking his tongue shallowly into their mouth.

Admittedly, it’s a little weird.

Kei’s nose scrunches up for a second, and Hoshiumi must feel it with how close their faces are. When he starts to pull back, Kei places a hand on the nape of his neck to keep him close. It’s weird, but people do it all the time, so there’s probably something less weird about it with practice, right? They let their mouth open a little more so their tongue can meet his. It’s still weird, but it’s also…interesting.

Hoshiumi must take that as a signal to keep moving, as long as he goes slow. He tilts his head to a more comfortable angle to slide his tongue further into their mouth, and runs it along the roof of their mouth.

That’s not somewhere Kei would’ve expected to be sensitive, but in hindsight, maybe they should have. There’s a lot of nerve endings in the mouth, after all, right?

Hoshiumi repeats the motion, and Kei melts against him, a soft whine escaping their throat. They hear themselves, and embarrassment weighs heavily in their chest, telling them to back up, to flee this mortifying situation before it gets out of hand. After the rest of today’s events, Hoshiumi seems to be anticipating the fight/flight/freeze reaction, and he moves back to shallower kisses until they relax.

Once the panic passes, Kei starts to kiss back with more enthusiasm, testing new things with their tongue, seeing what makes Hoshiumi react. If the quiet noises that spill from his mouth to theirs is any indication, they’re pretty good at figuring it out as they go.

Hoshiumi pulls back at last, resting his forehead on theirs.

“And that’s about as much as you need to know about kissing, where no touching or anything is involved,” Hoshiumi breathes. “Seriously, this is the first time you’ve done this stuff?”

Kei nods. “Never seemed that important. It’s not like having your first kiss is going to help apply for a job or improve your volleyball skills.”

“I guess…” Hoshiumi sits back and reaches for their glasses to give back. “Well, I think that’s enough learning for today, lest it get too heated, and by extension, too real.”

Kei puts on their glasses and tilts their head. “It wasn’t like it was that heated.”

“No, but that’s because we kept it PG-13,” Hoshiumi reasons. “And there was no handsy stuff happening. But that’s what could happen next, if we let it. So for now, we’ll call it a day.”

Kei rolls their eyes at his phrasing, but they suppose that’s fair enough. “Alright, _sensei_ ,” they tease. “Then you should probably get off of me.”

Hoshiumi moves off Kei’s lap and onto the sofa beside them. “Do you know when you need to catch the train?”

Kei shrugs and glances at their watch. “I got about half an hour. Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure I didn’t keep you too long,” Hoshiumi says. “Would hate for ya to fake break up with me over that, after all.”

“Don’t worry, I have a great sense of time. You couldn’t keep me late if you tried.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing I’m not tryin’,” Hoshiumi says. “Want me to walk ya to the station?”

Kei shakes their head. “It’s a five-minute walk. I’ll survive, promise.”

Hoshiumi nods. “Alright, yeah.”

Kei considers him for a moment. Something’s…different now. They don’t know what, but something _is_ , that much they can see.

“Hey, Tsukki! How was everything?” Yamaguchi asks when Kei gets back. “After the get-together, that is.”

“What, back at Hoshiumi-san’s place? It was fine. We just talked and tried to figure out how to stop my fight/flight/freeze instincts every time we fake affection,” Kei snorts, opening the fridge. “Hey, are we just heating up leftovers for dinner?”

“Probably,” Yamaguchi hums, hopping up on the counter. “Hey, so you guys talked about stuff, that’s good! He seems like he’s really considerate of you. I like him.”

“He’s not _really_ my boyfriend, Yamaguchi,” Kei reminds him. They pull out some leftover rice and beef from the previous night. “But on a platonic level, I guess I can appreciate that.”

Surely feeling like their heart was going to crawl out of their throat was a normal response to human compassion and warmth. They’re just not used to it from people besides Yamaguchi.

“Yeah, for sure,” Yamaguchi agrees. “I mean, you’ve only been talking for a week.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kei asks. They set the leftovers on the counter and turn on the rice cooker to heat the rice back up.

“It just means that you guys still don’t really know each other. The longer this goes on, this will get easier, more natural…”

“Uh-huh…” Kei glances at him out of the corner of their eye. “And?”

“I just think you shouldn’t completely write this off as all pretend,” Yamaguchi says at last. “You’ve never had this sort of thing with anyone, and doing it for pretend the first time… There’s a chance it could get real.”

Kei shakes their head. “He’s insufferable. I really don’t see that happening.”

“I really kinda do,” Yamaguchi says, sliding down from the counter. He pops the meat and veggies into the microwave. “I just want you to promise me you won’t close yourself off to the chance of really…falling for him.”

“I won’t,” Kei insists. “Sure, he’s fun to annoy, and he’s not half-bad at kissing, but–”

“Oh, that’s new,” Yamaguchi realizes. He peers up at Kei’s face, trying to analyze them more closely. “You kissed him again, didn’t you?”

“What the– How do you _do_ that?” Kei sputters, pushing Yamaguchi’s face back. “Yeah, so what? It helped me feel less weird about him sitting close to me.”

“So…how did he kiss you?” Yamaguchi presses. “Was it like at the beach? Or did you guys _really_ kiss this time?”

“You’re so nosy, oh my god,” Kei laughs. “Let it go, it was barely anything.”

Well, that was a lie. It was a whole lot of things, actually, and two hours later, Kei’s lips are still tingling.

Yamaguchi holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine. You’re the one who usually tells me everything about everything, though. I can tell when you’re holding back.”

Kei doesn’t answer that. They just wait for the food to heat up so that they can get a plate and sit to eat.

It only takes five minutes of eating in silence before Kei finally cracks.

“It was a lot,” they blurt out. “But not too much. It was just kissing, but it was _kissing_ , you know?”

Yamaguchi raises an eyebrow and motions with his chopsticks for Kei to continue.

“He was teasing me and saying that I should get practice kissing, so I gave him shit for just looking for an excuse to kiss me and then he did and then he did a _lot_ and some of it was new and it didn’t suck,” Kei rambles. “So. Yeah.”

“And after?”

“Well, it was cutting it close to my train leaving. We talked about doing stuff to get to know each other better, but that’s all there was time for.”

“How did you feel?”

“The…same?” Kei tilts their head. “Why would I feel any specific way? It really was just kissing and making fun of each other.”

“Just wondering, that’s all,” Yamaguchi assures them. “Well, what plans do you have?”

“He might stop by next week for a couple days,” they say, scratching their neck awkwardly. “He thought it might be good to hang out in our usual environments to get to know each other and our habits, and I guess that kind of made sense.”

“Oh! Alright, sure, that’s fine,” Yamaguchi agrees. “Are you gonna meet the parents, or are you keeping family out of it?”

“We decided that meeting the parents for real would probably…be a good idea soon,” Kei says. “So, you can’t tell my parents. Or nii-san!”

“You’re going to lie?”

“Yes.”

“To _Akiteru-kun_?”

Kei nods.

Yamaguchi lets out a slow whistle. “Brave. I don’t see that going over well, but I wish you the best.”

“I know you’re nosy because you worry,” Kei says. “But I’m not going to just go and fall in love with him. It’s just a distraction from Kageyama, and he feels the same way about it.”

“I believe you, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi promises. “But if that changes, it’s okay to admit it. Okay?”

“Alright.”

“Now eat your dinner! Pro athletes can’t go and miss meals, you know.”

“You act like my mother,” Kei grumbles.

“Well, someone’s gotta do it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole fic is self-indulgent as fuck, but the kiss scene? Extra self-indulgent, I was so giddy while writing it and for what huh? Just some smooches? I'm a simp for both halves of this ship and it Shows

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/lovingyachi) and scream with me about Haikyuu!! and other shit! And if you're curious about the server this ship came from for me, you can find out about us at [our carrd](https://hypproj.carrd.co)!


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